It’s our favorite time of year! With over 1200 ProFros arriving on campus, there is a new harvest of souls bountiful with jouie de vivre and human experience. Their naivete will be put to good use all throughout campus, as we shatter their dreams for entertainment.
One admit stands out from the rest. Clearly laughably unaware, Probert Frogg does not realize the joke that everyone at Stanford and, indeed, every other Prospective Freshman is in on: that “Stanford” is just an elaborate bit ran by one very bored and time-invested puppetmaster controlling every single “person” on campus using an incredibly advanced puppet rig connected to Hoover Tower.
When asked about Stanford, Frogg gave a glowing review. “I really like the people, I just love how interesting and unique everyone was, not like my hometown where everyone just seems the exact same! I guess some of them were a little quiet, but it gave me more time to talk about myself, which I love,” he reported, not the least bit aware that he had fallen for The Puppetmaster’s obvious farce. Despite connecting deeply with the “student body,” Frogg still seemed undecided. “Well, it’s either Stanford or Yale,” he mused, seemingly not cognizant of the fact that admit weekend at Yale, too, is a ruse. A Flipside correspondent reports that the university is secretly a testing ground for Disney animatronics before they take their esteemed position as “It’s a Small World” characters, with one even vying for the spot of Olaf’s replacement robot skeleton.
