Thanksgiving is finally coming up, a holiday meant to celebrate gratitude and spend time with family and friends. But, this Thanksgiving, this horny little guy is only looking forward to one thing: stuffing the turkey with his bare, ungloved hands.
Thursday morning, 24-year-old Roman Hartley will be nowhere to be seen in his family’s kitchen, despite the oncoming pressure of countless family members arriving later for dinner. In fact, Roman has never cooked a single meal for his household. However, once his father brings out this year’s raw turkey and places it on the kitchen countertop, Roman will make his presence known. That’s right: this horny little fucker has been waiting all morning to get his grimy little paws deep inside that raw turkey.
Unfortunately, this is no secret to his family members. Paula Hartley, Roman’s grandmother, shared the following, “Roman’s always been a little… what’s the word… oblivious? We’ve been trying to find a way to tell him we know, but you can understand why it’s not the easiest conversation to have. He’s just a sweet young boy trying his best.” Roman’s little brother, Charlie, said this: “The fuck? He’s bricked up, touchin’ all up on our fuckin’ turkey. Weird ass motherfucker.”
Yep. Roman knows his place in the kitchen this year, and that’s stuffing the turkey. His favorite part? “How wet and cold it is. There’s no feeling like it.” What a disgusting little freak! If you’re looking for somebody to step up and help you stuff the turkey this year, look no further than Roman and his unwashed fists – just don’t be surprised if he licks his fingers clean.
