Captain Marvel Under Fire After Mistaking Pakistani Village for “An Alien Spaceship”

March 11, 2019 7:00 pm
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Captain Marvel Under Fire After Mistaking Pakistani Village for “An Alien Spaceship”

Facing increased scrutiny amid the release of her new movie, superhero and former air force pilot Captain Marvel is now under fire over an incident that took place during her time with the U.S. military wherein she leveled a small Pakistani village after allegedly mistaking it for an alien spaceship.

Pressed by a reporter while leaving the film’s premiere, Captain Marvel denied a 2015 United Nations report that—while working with the Department of Defense to root out alien invaders situated in the Peshawar province of Pakistan—she delivered a plasma blast with the energy of a thousand imploding suns, killing 54 unarmed civilians.

“Based off of the CIA’s world-class intel, it is the official stance of the United States Air Force that the village in question was a disguised, heavily-armed spaceship sent by the Kree empire to destroy Earth,” a stony-faced Captain Marvel told the reporter. “The United States is a global force for good, and I am proud to have eliminated fifty-four shapeshifting aliens in our fight to protect truth, justice, and human dignity.”

Yet most UN member nations now agree that the village was, in fact, just that—a village—and that Captain Marvel committed a war crime by engaging in a non-retaliatory strike against civilians.

“The U.S government has a long history of violating national sovereignty under the guise of ‘saving the planet from alien invasion,’” said King T’Challa, head of state of Wakanda, when asked about continued American support for Captain Marvel. “I look forward to raising that point soon, when Ms. Marvel finally stands trial in the Hague.”

These complaints are the latest in an ongoing backlash to America’s use of alien threats as an excuse for human rights violations, including the 2013 revelation that Iron Man had personal access to all cellphone data nationwide as well as The Incredible Hulk’s controversial use of waterboarding.

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