Hosting a prospective freshman is no easy task, as any former room host can tell you. Not only are there logistical problems to keep track of, but there’s also the matter of performing: you want to be honest with them about what Stanford is really like, but also want to make sure they end up coming.

To keep things simple but effective this year, Admit Weekend organizers have condensed the RoHo experience into four easy steps: strip, feed, model, deny.

  1. Strip in front of them. As many have noted, Admit Weekend is as much about honesty as it is about putting on a show. Stripping is the best of both worlds in that regard — RoHos are being honest about their bodies while still showing off what they’ve got.
  2. Feed them silicon chips. It’s one thing to know that Stanford is at the heart of Silicon Valley, but it’s another thing entirely to actually live here. Giving ProFros a taste of what life is like on campus by forcing them to eat integrated circuits will both acclimate them to campus life and make them excited for what comes next!
  3. Model good citizenship. College is not only a time to gain skills and knowledge, but also preparation to become a full-fledged member of society later on in life. As such, RoHos should stick to certain tenants such as: if you commit a crime, don’t fuck up and get the cops called on you; don’t ever do the readings for class, or at worst, give yourself fifteen minutes to go through them right beforehand; don’t shoot campus squirrels during dorm quiet hours; and leave your vomit on toilet seats as a nice little treat for the next guy.
  4. Deny them mental health support. As some of us may remember, Admit Weekend is scheduled sort of awkwardly for any high school seniors who still have AP or IB exams to study for. Besides that, they’re also preparing for one of the greatest decisions of their life while being bombarded from all directions by new people, places, and events. It’s understandable that some ProFros might be feeling anxious, stressed, or otherwise not on top of their game! You should let them know you’re there for them if they ever want to talk, but also that your schedule’s pretty packed for the next three to five weeks so they’ll have to wait until then.

And that’s it! We applaud the university for successfully abridging the RoHo process into four easy to remember steps. Admit Weekend is an experience to remember fondly, and if all RoHos abide by these guidelines then we can confidently expect a happy and healthy Class of 2022.

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