Wow.  Now look at those colossal pearly whites. I’d kill to have me some mighty chompers like those in my mouth.  So white, so clean, so big and sharp.

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  How do you keep them so nice?  Is there some special tooth-goo that can get my old gnashers looking as good as those pups?

I bet you use Colgate, that good gunk I see in the television commercials.

  Maybe even one of those vibrating toothbrushes that plays a sweet little sing-song so you know how long to brush for. You need a real powerful tool to maintain mashers like those, I can only imagine.

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  Hey, how many of those crunchers do you have by the way?

Okay, I’m done dancing around the issue: I want your teeth.  Give them to me.  Name your price: how much would you be willing to part with your gleamers for?

  I don’t know how much you know about me, but I can give you a good deal, a very good deal.  I swear, I’d give absolutely anything to toss those porcelain plaques of joy and wonder into my own mouth.

Do you want my little teeth in return? They don’t hold a candle your munchers, but they’re worth something.  They’d do right by you.

I hope we can work together on this one, I really do.

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