In the wake of this morning’s bomb threat at Tresidder Memorial Union, White Plaza seemed to fill with signs advertising lunch options at Munger’s Russo Café just a bit too quickly for many student’s comfort.
“It seemed like a pretty high-quality sign,” said one of the dozens of Stanford students waiting outside the caution tape barricade for absolutely no good reason. “Certainly not something you pull together at the last minute like this.”
In an attempt to exonerate the Russo Café from suspicion of wrongdoing, Flipside special investigators contacted the campus FedEx Office to check if the signs had been ordered and printed after the bomb threat was reported. However, like other businesses in Tresidder, the FedEx store had been closed and evacuated all day at the order of the Stanford Police.
Despite the mounting evidence that its employees had some sort of inside knowledge of the affair, R&DE has resorted to a new strategy- appealing to its own ignorance and incompetence.
“Sure the signs referenced the exact time of day and the exact eateries that would be closed,” said an unnamed representative, “But if we had time to prepare these signs ahead of time, don’t you think we would have at least managed to spell ‘Tresidder’ right?”