After three years spent worrying that THINK was the worst possible replacement for IHUM, administrators sighed with relief last Wednesday upon the Review’s suggestion that a two-quarter Western Civ requirement be reintroduced.

“Jeez, we thought we’d really fucked up with this whole Thinking Matters idea,” commented Vice provost for undergraduate education Harry Elam. “I never even considered that we had successfully made a program that wasn’t inspired by a centuries-old conception of white supremacy. So I guess that should have been a plus.”

Students campus-wide smirked with similar contentment, realizing that “Evil” may not have been the best class they’ve ever taken, but that, at the very least, it wasn’t necessarily based on an assumption of white, male intellectual superiority.

“I should have been sitting there for ten weeks being glad that non-western authors weren’t intentionally being omitted, not trying to fart without my TA hearing,” a Junior said, realizing the scale of the gift he had been given. “You just don’t know what you have until the Review shows you how bad it could be.”

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…