Hook-up culture, Tinder, dormcest, frat parties…college dating is pretty complicated! Come along with us as we guide you through the do’s (and the dont’s) of love on The Farm.

Get Yourself Out There!

It doesn’t matter if you’re captain of the cheer squad or a mole-person with the features and abilities of a star-nosed mole, no one is going to love you if you never give them the chance! Get out to dorm social events, try Happy Hour at EBF, and don’t forget to have some fun. Before you know it, Lady Love will be knocking at your door, but only if you knock at her door first.

Take Risks

Now that you’ve made a few friends, taking the next step might be scary. Maybe you’d rather use your scaly, hypersensitive feet to burrow deep into the ground than ask that special person out on a date. And that’s perfectly understandable, because dating is hard! But remember, life is short and if you’re the first of your kind you may have no idea how long your lifespan will be.

Don’t Be a Creep

This goes without saying, but no means no. Consent is imperative, so keep your hands and/or touch organs to yourself.

Learn to Love Yourself

Take a look in the mirror. Notice how beautiful those 22 fleshy appendages on your snout are. Notice how much feeling and depth there is in your tiny, empty, grey eyes on the sides of your face. If you don’t love yourself, there’s no chance anyone else will ever love you. Give yourself a break sometimes, we all need one.

Now straighten your tie, spray some breath freshener in your mouth, and open the door: it’s breeding season.

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