Stanford R&DE has indicated recently that it is very worried by the state of chaos into which Mayfield Avenue has descended following the events of Winter Break. Field reporters for the Flipside stated that, led by Haus Mitt Kitchen Manager Reinhold Rommel, Haus Mitt took over La Maison Français’ kitchen, kicking out all its inhabitants and forcing the remaining residents to report to the Haus Mitt RA, Michael von Rundstedt, in order to receive any snack foods. Haus Mitt, which has harbored a long-standing grudge against French House for what they perceive to be the illegal annexation of their lounge in the Great Residential Reconstruction of 2003, reportedly struck in the middle of the night, setting up blockades in front of the kitchen doors and putting up signs instructing La Maison’s residents to either, “surrender or starve.” Although sanctions may be imposed by R&DE, there remains very little they will be able to do to rectify the situation, leading others on the row to criticize the apparent appeasement.

What may be more worrying, though, for Housing, is that Haus Mitt residents are now preparing to move further down the Row and strike against their old enemies at Slavianskii Dom.  Given Slav’s position on Lower Row, it has long been seen as falling under the preserve of Haus Mitt, and Rommel and Von Runstedt were adamant that such a campaign was justified, stating, “Slav would be nothing without us. They are mere parasites, and we will crush them under our boots if they resist.”

Despite this, the coming winter season will cause problems for the Haus, as heavy rain and snow will make further progress towards Slav difficult. Slav’s CM George Zhukov was resilient, maintaining that, “We made a snack run last week. We have supplies, we have residents who are unafraid and we will not fall.” Haus Mitt will also have to commit residents to occupying both kitchens if they continue with their plans, and history dictates that it is almost impossible to maintain control over kitchenettes on two fronts.

 

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