Over the past few weeks, students all over campus have reacted against the announced replacement of the quirky Ike’s Place sandwich shop with a new establishment run by R&DE.

Ike’s Place has grown to become a long-standing Stanford staple since its opening all the way back in 2010.  Many regulars are now confused as to where they will be able to stand in place for long periods of time, now that Ike’s is leaving the Huang Engineering building.

“It’s hard to find a place to really hunker down and study when finals roll around, but standing in the line at Ike’s no one will bother you” said sophomore Kelly Davidson. “It’s the perfect excuse for anything.  I’ve passed up entire careers waiting in this line”.

“If I didn’t stand in line at Ike’s, I don’t think I would ever talk to my parents” another customer told us.

For Timmy Springer, the Ike’s line holds yet another value.  “In most situations, girls don’t give me a second glance, but standing in line they don’t have anywhere else to look!  I met my girlfriend in the Ike’s line.”

The past few weeks have also seen a large influx in the number of visitors to the US Post Office. “People keep waiting in this line and then when they get to the front they just say the name of a celebrity or Sesame Street character and walk away; it’s odd” a disgruntled postal worker told our reporter on the scene.

“The post office is the only place we really have left to just, like, stand. You know?” commented a nearby bystander.

The only hope left in the hearts of Ike’s aficionados is that maybe, by some stroke of luck, R&DE’s new eatery will suffer from systematic inefficiencies.

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