Regular readers were in for a nasty surprise in last Thursday’s edition of the Stanford Daily, having found that the paper had mistakenly printed an opinion piece that featured a refreshingly candid tone and keen observations on the state of American society as we know it. Fans of the Daily’s usual fare were shocked and outraged. Junior Martin Tyler stated, “Quite frankly, this is a disgrace. I read the paper to hear the crudely bellowed opinions of the poor and unwashed masses, and what do I find when I open the paper? A reasoned and well thought-out opinion piece! I consider this a journalistic letdown of the highest degree.”

Stanford Daily editor-in-chief Edward Johansson was penitent when reached for commentary, claiming, “One of our editors was having a bad day and published the article as some sort of practical joke. Obviously, we would never purposely publish something even approaching a carefully crafted collection of thoughts. We apologize to our readers and reaffirm our commitment to making public those ridiculous opinions that will further optimize our SEO results.” Columnist Louis Debussy agreed, stating, “If I can’t spew out my slipshod, drunkenly generated arguments here, where else can I?”

Much to the readers’ delight, normal service will soon resume at the Daily. Johansson reports that the next two articles in the pipeline are “Op-Ed: All These Triflin’ Bitches,” and “Twerk hard, Play hard, Stanford.”

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