STANFORD, CA – In a news release this week, the Bing Overseas Study Program announced that it would be canceling the Australia program after this quarter. BOSP Director Jeff Cumberland explains, “We realized that Australia is a terribly dangerous place to be sending students…or anyone for that matter. It really shouldn’t even be considered habitable.” When asked to explain further, he further explained, “Australia is a fucking deathtrap. It’s where we find the world’s most deadly snakes and spiders, and just this week, they discovered the world’s only venomous crab there…are you kidding me? A fucking venomous crab! There’s no way we can continue to send students and faculty there.”
Students who have been to the Australia program already, or who were hoping to go in the future, are outraged. One former ‘stralia-goer stated, “I remember while I was there, I got drunk and fought a kangaroo; if that’s not the quintessential study abroad experience, then I don’t know what is.” Another former student explained that aside from the animals that only exist in Australia, the country also has something else unique to it: “Prostitution is legal, man! I mean, I don’t really want to fuck a prostitute, but I feel like it’s part of the experience.” Yes, it seems like the Australia program is one of the most popular study-a-broad programs.
Future Australia-program hopefuls are even more upset. Chris Riker, who was planning on going to Australia this Winter quarter, was really looking forward to the program trip to New Zealand. “When else am I going to fuck a sheep?”
Sadly, none of these complaints have led to a reversal of BOSP’s decision. Instead, they’ve decided to replace the Australia program with a new program in Bangkok. Chris Riker gave a final statement, “Actually, I’m alright with that.”