Dear Reminiscing Sophomore,

I’m finding it hard to interject during discussion section. Even though I did the readings, sometimes it’s impossible to keep up with the conversation and bring up a fresh point. How can I become more assertive?

Tentative in Trancos

Dear Tentative,

God, I remember Fall Quarter last year, I didn’t know anything. I barely talked to anybody, and I still hadn’t learned half of their names. But, man, then it was like a switch was flipped and we were all talking like we’d known each other for years. The nights we spent in this lounge, at that beer-drenched, grease-coated table. Shit, we had some real deep talks.

 

Dear Reminiscing Sophomore,

I’ve been hooking up with this girl who I just found out my roommate is really into. I don’t want to betray his trust and sneak around behind his back, but at the same time I don’t think it’s fair that I give this up. He didn’t even call dibs! Am I being unreasonable?

Conflicted in Castaño

Dear Conflicted,

Oh fuck, I haven’t talked to my freshman roommate in like, months. Have you seen him, did he walk by here? We should totally check out our old room, I bet it’s completely different. What if…what if there are girls in there now? That’d be crazy. I mean, this place was my kingdom, and for all we know there are a couple of usurpers on the throne.

 

Dear Reminiscing Sophomore,

I was playing ping-pong with my friend earlier and he made a questionable shot. He said it bounced on my side, by I didn’t see that happen and I think he’s just trying to get in my head to throw off my rhythm. How do we settle this dispute before it ruins our already tenuous friendship?

Outraged in Otero

Dear Outraged,

PING-PONG! Wooooow, I haven’t played that in soooooo fucking long. Man, ping-pong was my life! I would be at the table every afternoon. There was a whole culture around it, y’know? Oh, you remember that one time where Chris hit that shot…I guess you had to be here. Y’know what? You don’t know shit about ping-pong, you don’t live it the way we did! For Christ’s sake, you have an air hockey table down here! That’s fucked up. And another thing, what’s up with your theme? Our theme was so much funnier and smarter and God I just want this nightmare to end!

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