Now I may just be a young man, but I’ve always known the importance of journalism. That’s why I get my news from two sources: Yahoo and those pop-up ads you get when you’re trying to buy ironic T-Shirts. So imagine my surprise when I found out about this Syria thing, which is bad on a level most people just can’t comprehend. Not me though, I understand the plight of the people suffering in Tahrir Square under the awful regime of communist dictator Muammar Gaddafi. Frankly, the inaction of some people astounds me. In the precious free time that I have, when I’m not down at the soup kitchen tasting their French onion, I have signed 3 separate Facebook groups advocating that the President takes the correct course of action, which is of course to do whatever is right and proper. Let’s leave the minor details to the bureaucrats, and focus on what’s truly important; granting the people of Syria the healthcare that they have long been denied. I’m not just going to sit idly by and watch, that may be fine for the rest of you who don’t focus on world issues, but I care about the Syrians. And to make matters worse, Putin is over there inciting some kind of pussy riot and I know I’m not the only one who wants to see that put to an end. Unlike you, I am committed to helping raise the debt ceiling until we can fit all the Syrians in need into the debt room, out of the debt rain. Here’s an example which you would all do well to follow: last week I tweeted “Syria. #needsfixin.” Now I don’t know about you, but I’m sure that that helped in a way that mere protesting or demonstrations could never do. This is a mobile generation and we’re on the march. From our bedsides. From our laptops. From our phones. Maybe you should get “moving” too.
