Last monday, Vice President Joe Biden was seen blowing off some steam after the “fiscal cliff” debates with none other than pop superstar Taylor Swift. Rumor around the House is that the two have been an item since Swift broke off her relationship with Harry of One Direction fame. The two have been seen canoodling around the Capitol building, both toting acoustic guitars and childlike grins.
When asked about the forty-nine year age difference between her and her main squeeze, Swift commented, “I have rules for so many things in my life, but I decided that love would not be one of them. So what if he could totally be my grandpa? He always makes me laugh, cursing out ‘those fucking Tea Party assholes’ in the House, and really, isn’t that all that matters?” Swift also notes that she was influenced by friend Selena Gomez’s previous relationship with younger Justin Beiber, saying “it’s totally the same thing.”
While Swift worked on her latest song, “One Direction to Heartbreak,” the Vice President sat by on a picnic blanket in the White House’s glorious lawns, ignoring calls from his wife, Dr. Jill Biden, as well as the leader of the free world, President Obama. Obviously smitten, Biden twirled his balding white hair between his fingers.
Pundits claim that this move on a political figure comes as no surprise, as Swift has already involved herself with some of the most notable American families, namely the Kennedys as well as the Jonases. Biden marks her ninth boyfriend of 2012, but she swears this is one for the history books.
Break-up Breaking News!: Rumor has it that “Swiden” is no longer! The two lovebirds have parted ways after a mere two days of public recognition. Accordingly, Swift has begun to pen a new hit, named “Getting off that Train to Delaware (Lost my Vote for Losing my <3).” It is said to be a real foot-stomper, says new love interest and Speaker of the House John Boehner.