Shouting turned to screams Monday night as the first dorm government meeting of Cedro ended in a sudden coup that left three members injured. Co-President Thomas Cortez, Frosh Council Rep. Lillian Croft, and dorm clown Stanley Yelnets all suffered injuries when secretary George Butterfield substantially differed on a budgetary decision and overturned the table at which the members of the dorm government were sitting.
“Our secret service were just totally unprepared-it was atrocious” said treasurer Arnold Lee, who only managed to escape harm by using Ms. Croft as a shield.
When asked what actions Stanford planned to take, Assistant Dean of Freshman Koren Bakkegard responded that “violent overthrows of democratically elected dorm governments is an internal matter to be solved by each dorm with minimal university or RF interference.”
This is the first incident of violence since the bloody communist revolution of Soto two years ago, which left 6 dead.