Last week was crunch time for many campus freshmen, as they were hit by the opening wave of midterm exam. Gilbert Brennan, a Rinconada freshman, wasn’t fazed though, confident that he had his physics exam “in the bag.” Confident, it turns out, was an understatement.
“He’s already marked off a special place on his bookshelf,” said Brennan’s flabbergasted roommate, “for his Nobel Prize.” He went on to describe Brennan’s preparations for the award: “I’ve never seen someone spend so much money on stencils and bunting. It’s insane, our floor looks like a Michael’s aisle after monsoon season.”
“He even sent a letter to the Nobel committee,” the roommate later said. The Flipside investigated Brennan’s P.O. Box to learn the committee’s response, only to find an ABBA CD, an IKEA giftcard, and a hastily-scrawled, hand-written note that read “Ve appreciate ze letter, but ve don’t offer ze Nobel Prize for doing nossing, you try again in tventy years, yah?”
When asked to comment on these recent developments, Gilbert simply raised both thumbs, brandished his tongue, and shouted “Yo, Brian Kobilka’s a chump, he ain’t got nothin’ on me! I straight crushed that exam, dawg, where my Nobel Prize at?”