Local grad student Mark Henderson has announced he will abstain from sexual intercourse until he is elected to public office or becomes a football coach.

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“I’ve made the decision to wait,” said Mark as he flipped through the pages of Playboy just to read the articles.

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“I think sex is best saved for when I’m holding political office or coaching football.

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” Mark claims that he won’t even have sex with his wife if he were to marry before reaching political office.

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“I have really strong beliefs,” said Mark, though he conceded that he might have sex if he became a high school teacher.

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