After being cut by the Colts last week, Peyton Manning has decided to walk away from the game of football and into the game of Papa John’s commercials.
“I’ve done a couple commercials for Papa.
We even got to the super bowl once,” Peyton said as he replaced his football helmet with a chef hat. “I want to turn these commercials into a perennial contender.

The former MVP said he was sad to leave football, but he has really enjoyed the beginning of his second career, especially all the fun outfits he gets to wear.

“I really look up to the man,” said Andrew Luck, Manning’s presumed replacement, “Hopefully some day I’ll have as much success as he has in the pizza commercial industry.

You May Also Like

Branner Dining Does Its Part to Defend the Defenseless Against Natural Selection

Stanford Residential and Dining Enterprises made the bold decision this year to…

Climatologists Concede that New York Would Look Pretty Sweet Underwater

A recently released study by a panel of IPCC climatologists reports that,…

Opinion: Hey Republicans, Maybe You Guys Could Stop Saying Offensive Things About Rape?

Hey Republicans, how’s it going? Pretty busy with elections, I bet. Looks…