Several freshmen were rolled out early Sunday morning for early mass at MemChu. Other students in the dorm were shocked by the hazing that occurred. The rolled out students claimed, however, that they were honored to have been chosen for such an exclusive club.

Rolled out students were repeatedly dunked in water and forced to chug wine and eat bread. Others were seen walking to the quad repeatedly hitting themselves on the forehead with large wooden paddles and screaming unintelligible chants.

“I’m just so stoked to be a part of the group,” said freshman Billy Walters, who chugged at least one body’s worth of wine. “Rollouts are awesome!”

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…