This past November, I watched with horror as Barack Hussein Obama captured the White House from our beloved GOP. Our party shattered into little fragments, and some of those were lost to the blue side. I don’t know if we can bring the intellectuals, the libertarians, or the soccer moms back into the Republican fold in time for 2012. But I sure as hell don’t want to see the Democrats smothering our great Nation for longer than one term. There is only one solution if we want to see a conservative in the White House in 4 years: we must give fetuses the right to vote.
Fetuses are people too, and they’ve been disenfranchised long enough. Some of my detractors say, “Children can’t vote until they’re 18. Why should fetuses get the vote?” The answer is that fetal life only lasts for about nine months, at which point the fetus leaves the womb and enters society as an actual child. Dogs have dog-years; we need to think about fetuses the same way. After two months of pregnancy, a fetus has lived the equivalent of 18 years, and should be able to vote.
Some people are concerned about whether fetuses are actually capable of voting. “Even if fetuses prove competent, how can they access the physical ballots without their mother enduring an invasive procedure?” they ask. I say it doesn’t matter. We know every single fetus would vote Republican. So all women who are at least two months pregnant should get an extra ballot that automatically counts as a Republican vote. Write to your Congressmen now and help us win back the White House with the help of our prenatal pro-life friends!