Have you ever been kicked out of your room because your roommate’s getting some every night and you’re too much of a pussy to chase after girls? Or perhaps you’re too ugly. Or maybe you just smell. Either way, you’re not getting laid tonight, and you can’t sleep in your bed because there’s serious stuff going down in your living space and you’re not welcome (unless your roommate’s into some kinky shit). Basically, you’ve got to find somewhere to stay. So what can you do?

From the pedophiles who brought you Glassmap comes the less frightening and infinitely more useful Sextapp! Find out which of your friends is as lame as you are and can afford to let you spend a Friday night in a pool of your own tears on his bedroom floor! A floor plan of your dorm features little green blinking lights on rooms that you can stay in, and little red lights indicate rooms in which you are not welcome. Blinking yellow lights mean that the inhabitants are willing to have a threesome, although you might still not be welcome, depending on how attractive you are. Either way, you’ll have a place to stay, so download the Sextapp today!

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