STOREY HOUSE, ROW—Stanford junior and girlfriend Lisa Alberts has started to implement a loyalty points system for her boyfriend Eric Bellman.
Bellman, who has been extremely flakey over the last two and a half months of the relationship, said he has had a hard time keeping up with the loyalty points system.
“First I have to go hang out with her while she does her homework on Tuesday nights to get one point, and then I have to attend her dance show Friday night to get another loyalty point. I need five loyalty points to get in the bedroom… and honestly, these events aren’t even related to sex!”
“A few years ago, all I had to do was show up,” lamented a visibly frustrated Bellman.
Alberts has said the points system has been extremely effective. “When so many people want access to your bedroom, you just need a way to sort between them.”