In wake of the recent economic downturn, GM has been put on the ballot for Special Fees at Stanford University because they heard how they could receive lucrative budgets with little scrutiny.

Some Stanford students have questioned the budget request, but most people figure it’s probably reasonable, and that the company really needs what they ask for. Students even overlooked the three million dollars budgeted for executive salaries and food for meetings.

“It’s a really great opportunity for us,” said GM CEO Dan Akerson. “These students are willing to throw money at just about everything, and all we needed was 1000 signatures.”

President Obama was relieved to hear that he would no longer need to provide money to the failing company. If only America could also rely on Special Fees to fix all needs and reduce our national debt….

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…