In wake of the recent economic downturn, GM has been put on the ballot for Special Fees at Stanford University because they heard how they could receive lucrative budgets with little scrutiny.
Some Stanford students have questioned the budget request, but most people figure it’s probably reasonable, and that the company really needs what they ask for. Students even overlooked the three million dollars budgeted for executive salaries and food for meetings.
“It’s a really great opportunity for us,” said GM CEO Dan Akerson.
“These students are willing to throw money at just about everything, and all we needed was 1000 signatures.”

President Obama was relieved to hear that he would no longer need to provide money to the failing company. If only America could also rely on Special Fees to fix all needs and reduce our national debt….

You May Also Like

Report: Stanford Authorized New Bike Theft Task Force to Use ‘Enhanced Bike Retrieval Tactics’

This week, scandal is the word on campus, as shocking reports reveal…

How To Seduce Your Professor In 5 Easy Steps

So you want to seduce your professor. Not a problem! You may…

Breaking – This Reporter Getting Progressively Drunker

STANFORD, CA – Every year, prospective freshmen- affectionately called “ProFros” – visit…

Stanford Admins Exasperated at Having to Send Yet Another Fucking Email About Current Events