A new, rapidly growing activist organization in Haiti has one simple but important goal: increasing people’s awareness of the issues currently afflicting students at Stanford University.

“It’s just so sad how ignorant we are of other people’s problems,” said Dominique Coupout, the president of Awareness for Stanford Students (ASS). “We want people here in Haiti to think more often about how Suzy Connors has to stay up all night studying for her chem midterm.”

So far ASS has succeeded at raising modest funds to help Stanford students cope with increasing menu prices at the Axe and Palm.

“I stay up nights crying when I think of what those poor souls go through,” said Miranda Jean-Claude, whose family lacks indoor plumbing and access to basic healthcare. “I hear so many terrible things about what they have to go through in IHUM sections. Such boring lectures! And what does getting an A-/B+ even mean? It’s so absurd!”

“Do TAs really think that’s more encouraging than just getting a B+?” she added.

After just a few weeks of promoting awareness, ASS seems to have swayed even the hearts of top Haitian government officials.

“What bugs me is the inhumane living conditions,” said Kely Bastien, the President of the Haitian Senate, whose country recently suffered from a magnitude 7.0 earthquake. “Did you know that most Stanford students don’t even get their own dorm room?”

“And don’t even get me started on how cold it can get occasionally during the winter,” she added.

You May Also Like

Fight Club Totally Beats the Shit Out of Non-Violence Club

Cool Grandma Plans To Get “Eggnog Blitzed” This Holiday Season

Betty Peterson, 90, is quick to remind family and friends that she…

IHUM Replacement “Thinking Matters” In Search of Catchy Abbreviation

With SUES and the Faculty Senate on board with the replacement for…