Class of ’72 Surges to Win Battle of the Classes

May 9, 2010 4:28 pm
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Class of ’72 Surges to Win Battle of the Classes

Citing the need to defend their claim as the best class since the Vietnam War, the Stanford class of 1972 devastated the competition during Stanford’s inaugural Battle of the Classes. As current undergraduates gradually arrived clad in spirit bandanas and funny hats,’72 immediately established their dominance, armed to the teeth and led by former army corporal Ed “Two-Finger” Howard. “I knew they were serious when their tanks drove up onto the curb and ran over my bike,” recalls Vietnamese sophomore Cynthia Nguyen.

With shouts of “Oh-Seventy-Two,” the vets split into three camps, Alpha, Bravo and Charlie, methodically dispatching current undergraduates in tug of war, kickball and the line for the barbecue. Class of ’12 eventually hit upon the realization that the vets would scatter when they shouted “IT’S A TRAP, GET DOWN,” and if small water balloons landed on the ground near them.

Hours after they intended to go home, ’72 could still be seen milling around Roble Field, trying to develop an exit strategy. “I just feel bad that we’re leaving the upperclassmen in Branner and Manzanita at the mercy of those commie freshmen in Okada,” Howard lamented, as the last of the choppers airlifted his men to their Bay Area residences. “We have unfinished business here.”