Tragedy struck Friday afternoon at approximately 4:36 PM when freshman Stephen Salazar lost his lanyard.

“I was just biking to White Plaza to get my bike registered, and by the time I got there I realized that it had fallen off,” said Salazar through tears, “I was heartbroken.  I retraced my steps all the way back to Arroyo but to no avail. Now nobody will ever know who I am or what my name is.”

Salazar is now an outcast among freshmen, and has been moved from Wilbur into FroSoCo by Stanford Housing.

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