Warning: Pretentious student spotted near the Coffee House. The student was last seen wearing taupe Desert Boots, skinny jeans and a scarf. He may or may not have been wearing a blue or possibly black United Colors of Benetton sweater. Exercise extreme caution! The Stanford Sheriff’s Department considers this student to be well read and extremely pretentious. He has already tried to engage three students in a debate over the relative merits of truth and artistry in Nietzschean philosophy. All three students are in stable condition, although one of the students, who claimed that Nietzsche had no respect for truth, was severely burned by a Parliament Light. If you see this pretentious student, DO NOT approach him. Dial 911 and run as fast as you can in the opposite direction.

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