By Chad Levin

In another miracle of science, Stanford researcher Dr. Phillip Huang, PhD has discovered the missionary sex position.

Huang and his team of several undergraduate researchers have been studying intercourse between Homo sapiens for over a decade, and they claim this breakthrough promises to change the world forever.

“I’m very pleased to say that I am the first one to discover this so-called “missionary position.” After thorough testing with many subjects, it has proven to be quite robust, but full of surprises,” explained the stoic Dr. Huang.

Huang explains that what’s special about the missionary position is its simplicity. “It’s almost as if its been hiding right in front of our eyes all along,” remarked Huang. “It’s taken thousands of man-hours and billions of dollars, and I’m sure anyone who sees what we’ve discovered will think that it was definitely worth it.”

Huang will be holding a demonstration of his research next Tuesday at 8pm in Dinkelspiel Auditorium, and if you are unable to attend, the presentation will be posted that night on redtube.com

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