Student In Trouble For Irresponsible Guests

Parents Found Puking, Vandalizing; Son Put on Probation

By Jorie Carmeister

STANFORD—Freshman student Troy Altman, a member of the dorm Naranja, is now on probation after hosting several guests who failed to respect dormitory rules. According to the RA, the guests were found puking on the floor, tearing down posters, and kicking over hallway garbage cans.

Troy’s parents, Steve and Linda Altman, came to visit during Parents’ Weekend, but clearly were a little too intense for the Naranja atmosphere.

“I mean I’ve seen people party hard,” said Vaughn Jackson, a member of the dorm. “But nothing like Troy’s parents.”
Steve and Linda Altman started pregaming around 7pm, which included two Power Hours and several games of Beirut. Then things got out of control.

“Troy should know that he is responsible for the guests that he brings to our dorm,” said the RA. “And if they are going to drink too much, vomit on the carpet, and start yelling out fads from the 1960s, well that’s crossing the line.”

Troy declined to comment and now is infamous throughout the dorm for his party parents.