According to several eyewitnesses, Stanford President John Hennessy was seen walking between the Quad and the business school around 11:15 A.M. last Friday. This was the first sighting of the elusive Hennessy since he addressed the Class of 2012 during Orientation in mid-September. Sophomore and Hennessy-watching enthusiast Claire Naziri told the Flipside that she had spent over a year trying to observe him on campus. “I’ve staked out positions all over campus hoping to catch a glimpse of this rare specimen, but this is the first time I’ve seen him since he spoke at my Orientation. He truly is a majestic creature, and I count myself as lucky to have seen him a second time.”

It is widely thought that President Hennessy, who serves on the boards of Google and Cisco Systems, spends most of the school year hibernating in a cozy nest constructed from branches, mud, and stock options. He usually emerges twice a year—for Orientation and Commencement—to fulfill his obligations to the University.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Stanford Admins Exasperated at Having to Send Yet Another Fucking Email About Current Events

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…