According to several eyewitnesses, Stanford President John Hennessy was seen walking between the Quad and the business school around 11:15 A.M. last Friday. This was the first sighting of the elusive Hennessy since he addressed the Class of 2012 during Orientation in mid-September. Sophomore and Hennessy-watching enthusiast Claire Naziri told the Flipside that she had spent over a year trying to observe him on campus. “I’ve staked out positions all over campus hoping to catch a glimpse of this rare specimen, but this is the first time I’ve seen him since he spoke at my Orientation. He truly is a majestic creature, and I count myself as lucky to have seen him a second time.”

It is widely thought that President Hennessy, who serves on the boards of Google and Cisco Systems, spends most of the school year hibernating in a cozy nest constructed from branches, mud, and stock options. He usually emerges twice a year—for Orientation and Commencement—to fulfill his obligations to the University.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

Sign Up for Our Newsletter

Get the Stanford Flipside sent to your inbox!

You May Also Like

Study Finds: If Your Hand is Bigger than Your Face You Need Surgery

In a packed auditorium on Saturday, Stanford Hospital Director Ken Toshi informed…

Connections to Steroid Ring Finally Explain Peyton Manning’s Giant Forehead

Following last week’s announcement of an upcoming Al-Jazeera documentary that alleges that…

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the…