‘Avatar’ Graphics Deemed Superior To Those of Reality

January 10, 2010 9:23 pm
‘Avatar’ Graphics Deemed Superior To Those of Reality

Upon emerging from the 7:30 pm 3D showing of James Cameron’s “Avatar,” Palo Alto resident Dwayne Schmitt stared up at the night sky with a somewhat disappointed expression. “Where’s the innovation?” he asked of no one in particular. “Where’s the perfectly-rendered spherical gas giant? Where is the sunset whose swirling […]

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TSA Travel Update

9:19 pm
TSA Travel Update

Important notice to all travelers in the United States: In light of the recent terrorist attack, The TSA has made several important changes to make air travel much more difficult for everyone and therefore, safer. We have raised the Annoyance Level from orange to total pain in the ass. The […]

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Report: Terrorist Abdulmutallab “Was Never Good at Chemistry”



9:17 pm
Report: Terrorist Abdulmutallab “Was Never Good at Chemistry”



        Weeks after Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab failed to ignite an explosive on Northwest Airlines Flight 253, Abdulmutallab’s high school chemistry teacher, Akeju Khaled, reported that the terrorist had at best mediocre chemistry skills. In the attempted attack, Abdulmutallab failed to correctly combine explosive chemicals.             In the report, Khaled stated […]

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Dubai Builds World’s Tallest Skyscraper to Compensate For Something

9:12 pm
Dubai Builds World’s Tallest Skyscraper to Compensate For Something
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TSA Institutes Colonoscopy Screening; Security Literally a Pain in the Ass

9:10 pm
TSA Institutes Colonoscopy Screening; Security Literally a Pain in the Ass
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