Flipside Classifieds — Thoughts From the Student Body

February 26, 2018 12:00 pm
Flipside Classifieds — Thoughts From the Student Body

Here’s the Tree week stunt I did that the University censored Listen up, you cogs in the machine. The man, Daddy Stanford, censored my last Tree week stunt, but I won’t let it be covered up. I need to let the people know of my important, pithy social commentary, and […]

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Notice of Correction: Prof. David Palumbo-Liu a Decepticon, Not an Antifa Terrorist Ringleader as Previously Reported

February 12, 2018 12:00 pm
Notice of Correction: Prof. David Palumbo-Liu a Decepticon, Not an Antifa Terrorist Ringleader as Previously Reported

In a stunning op-ed published yesterday, professor David Palumbo-Liu refuted recent claims by The Stanford Review that he is “hell-bent on blowing shit up and throwing mailboxes through windows in the name of antifa thugs.” Instead, the comparative literature scholar admitted that he is actually Megatron, leader of the Decepticon […]

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Op-Ed: Jeff Sessions Found Me Smoking Weed on Wilbur Field And Now I’m In Federal Prison

10:44 am
Op-Ed: Jeff Sessions Found Me Smoking Weed on Wilbur Field And Now I’m In Federal Prison
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Following Full Moon on the Quad, Outbreak of Feelings in Freshman Dorm

February 6, 2018 12:00 pm
Following Full Moon on the Quad, Outbreak of Feelings in Freshman Dorm

Following the popular and historical event Full Moon on the Quad last Wednesday night, viruses have pervaded the freshman dorms. The most rampant of these deadly plagues: feelings. One afflicted freshman, Cedro resident Kyle Shermis, has been bedridden for three days with a severe case of feelings. Said Shermis, “Yeah, […]

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Biker Holding Phone and Coffee Longs for Sweet Release of Death

February 5, 2018 12:00 pm
Happy young woman cycling through the park

Flipside reporters confirmed early Monday morning that junior Sarah Lee — seen biking helmetless and at full tilt down Santa Teresa Street towards her biochemistry class, a cup of Starbucks coffee in one hand and a phone held to her ear with the other — harbors a genuine and wholehearted […]

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Guy in Vomit-Stained Shrek 2 Onesie Will One Day Win Nobel Prize

January 29, 2018 12:00 pm
Guy in Vomit-Stained Shrek 2 Onesie Will One Day Win Nobel Prize

Partygoers who left TDX around 1 AM this past Saturday on their way out of the frat house were met with a bizarre and grotesque sight: a drunk undergrad, clad in nothing but a loose-hanging Shrek 2 onesie, violently vomiting into the bushes and all over himself. But what onlookers […]

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Kardinal Kink Enjoying Cuffing Season

9:00 am
Kardinal Kink Enjoying Cuffing Season
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Op-Ed: If the rest of my RA application wasn’t impressive enough, here’s a story about that time I blacked out and hit up every single frat on the row

January 22, 2018 12:00 pm
Op-Ed: If the rest of my RA application wasn’t impressive enough, here’s a story about that time I blacked out and hit up every single frat on the row

It’s no secret, RA apps are competitive, but have I got an ace up my sleeve: that one time I totally blacked the fuck out and managed to hit up every single frat on the row. Everyone knows the RA selection process is an exact replica of the team selection […]

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Stanford Athletics Announces Plan To Pay Students To Attend Games Played By Unpaid Student Athletes

November 15, 2017 12:00 pm
Stanford Athletics Announces Plan To Pay Students To Attend Games Played By Unpaid Student Athletes

Following another disappointing student turnout at a home football game, Stanford Athletics revealed its latest promotion. In its new ‘paid-for-view’ program, every student in attendance at home sporting events will be paid a handsome $16 an hour. Citing “a huge sum of money from boosters who wanted to see students […]

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Gaieties actor on vocal rest ends up taking permanent vow of silence, no one cares

November 14, 2017 3:09 pm
Gaieties actor on vocal rest ends up taking permanent vow of silence, no one cares

Sources confirmed yesterday that an actor in Gaieties 2017 who has been on vocal rest for the past three days, Gen Erick ‘21, has decided to take a permanent vow of silence. Other sources confirmed that no one cares. “I just feel more at peace than I’ve ever felt,” typed […]

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