Recently, PWR faculty director Adam Banks announced that students could apply to ghostwrite President Marc Tessier–Lavigne’s coronavirus update emails instead of taking PWR 1.

The idea was actually President Tessier–Lavigne’s own.

 

“It’s easy, really – I just don’t have the time,” said Tessier–Lavigne, as he invested 10% of the endowment in Shell on Robinhood. “Just go: Blah blah blah, loved ones, blah blah blah, virtual conversation, blah blah blah, I took a pay cut – ah, you get it.

online pharmacy purchase valtrex online with best prices today in the USA

The President hopes to use the free time to plan fall quarter. “Well, this month, Provost Drell and I finished setting up Excel on my Mac,” said Tessier–Lavigne.

buy flexeril online https://eyecaremarshfield.com/contactsus/html/flexeril.html no prescription pharmacy

“Now we just need to figure out how to use it – unless Harvard makes a decision, of course.

buy celexa online http://healthdirectionsinc.com/images/png/celexa.html no prescription pharmacy

Then we’ll probably just do that.”

PWR faculty director Adam Banks announced the decision in a public statement. 

“We believe that writing the president’s emails will teach students the three keys to writing,” said Banks. “Write a good hook, create a compelling thesis, and put all the important information somewhere deep in the third paragraph.

online pharmacy purchase lasix online with best prices today in the USA

Banks went on to defend the legitimacy of the PWR program. He hopes that the CS professors who bullied him in the faculty lounge will now treat him with more respect.

In the works: the PWR office will soon announce students can replace PWR 2 by making Susie Brubaker-Cole’s video updates.

You May Also Like

Amateur DJ Forgot to Drop Bass Before Deadline

The add/drop deadline passed recently, solidifying which classes Stanford students will be…

1035 Residents Lose House

After a whirlwind turn of events, the residents of 1035 Campus Drive…

Coolest Kid at NSO Already “So Over This Lame Place”

Early reports from sources in Wilbur indicate that Saniyya Miller, the coolest…

Fast-Talking Showman Harry Elam Delights Townsfolk with Latest European Marvel

CENTER OF TOWN–This weekend an old familiar face rolled into White Plaza:…