Recently, PWR faculty director Adam Banks announced that students could apply to ghostwrite President Marc Tessier–Lavigne’s coronavirus update emails instead of taking PWR 1. The idea was actually President Tessier–Lavigne’s own. 

“It’s easy, really – I just don’t have the time,” said Tessier–Lavigne, as he invested 10% of the endowment in Shell on Robinhood. “Just go: Blah blah blah, loved ones, blah blah blah, virtual conversation, blah blah blah, I took a pay cut – ah, you get it.”

The President hopes to use the free time to plan fall quarter. “Well, this month, Provost Drell and I finished setting up Excel on my Mac,” said Tessier–Lavigne. “Now we just need to figure out how to use it – unless Harvard makes a decision, of course. Then we’ll probably just do that.”

PWR faculty director Adam Banks announced the decision in a public statement. 

“We believe that writing the president’s emails will teach students the three keys to writing,” said Banks. “Write a good hook, create a compelling thesis, and put all the important information somewhere deep in the third paragraph.”

Banks went on to defend the legitimacy of the PWR program. He hopes that the CS professors who bullied him in the faculty lounge will now treat him with more respect.

In the works: the PWR office will soon announce students can replace PWR 2 by making Susie Brubaker-Cole’s video updates.

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