Man Struggles with Diagnosis of Narcoleptic Sperm

Lorraine and John, a local couple trying to get pregnant, have recently…

Executive Order: Pardons Only Valid for Turkeys Who Participated in January 6th

Trump signed a new executive order invalidating the ceremonial pardons of all…

This Halloween, Stanford Furry Club Dresses Up as People

Stanford’s Furry Club embraced the unexpected—donning costumes of hoodies and jeans, they…

Local Ghost Does Not Appreciate Couple Fucking In The Computer Cluster

It’s that time of year again: the crows caw ominously, bats make…

Archaeological Breakthrough? Uncovered Cave Paintings in Nightclub Bathroom Point to Signs of Ancient Civilization

When first-year archaeology PhD student, Skylar Poe, went to use the restroom…

Breaking: A Capella Clubs Decide to be Really Fucking Mean in Their Rejection Letters 

Shockwaves ripped through the Frosh dork community after receiving a barrage of…

Opinion: TA is Madly In Love With Me Specifically 

I have ascertained, through the virtues of my immense powers of deduction,…