Drinking Game Rules No Match For Dave

October 11, 2016 12:11 pm
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Drinking Game Rules No Match For Dave

An ordinary game of flip cup last Thursday took a turn for the weird when Dave Templeton of Cedro successfully convinced his fellow freshmen that the correct way to play involved smashing the cup out of your opponent’s hands while yelling “Flip Fuck.” Despite the fact that this rule has never before been seen by any upperclassmen, Dave’s fast-talking and unshakeable confidence has led to the new ruleset being adopted by the unwitting freshmen of Cedro.

Further investigation indicates the aberrations do not end there: during a game of Thunderstruck, Dave was seen performing guitar solos, behaving as if this was standard practice within the rules of the game. A game of King’s Cup was ended when Dave pulled a king and stole the cup, and a game of beer pong was left permanently unfinished after Dave stormed away yelling “Two’s Rules! Two’s Rules!” while kicking his knees up into the air.

Still others have attested that Dave’s fast-and-loose relationship with drinking game rules have led him to invent games that don’t even exist, like Rosé Skip and Beer Chess. Cedro RAs have considered staging an intervention, but held off as they realized that Dave was not drinking excessively, but just really, really incorrectly.

At press time, Dave’s fellow freshmen are convinced that he has either never had drinking experience before college, or has drunk more than the entire rest of the Class of 2020 combined.

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