Professor Masturbating in Class “Disconcerting”

October 17, 2013 12:00 pm
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Professor Masturbating in Class “Disconcerting”

Stanford faculty members are acclaimed not only for their expertise, but also their ability to engage students in a given subject matter. Tiresome subjects can come alive in the hands of the right instructor. Of course, there are some things you just don’t want your instructor to have in his hands.

“It was…it was troubling,” said Economics major Stephanie Ling, recalling a lecture she attended on Friday, taught by the esteemed Professor Roger Meyer. “The material was fascinating, don’t get me wrong, but the part where the teacher dropped trow and started vigorously yanking it was…kinda awkward.”

Reportedly, the lecture concerned certain high-level concepts upon which the students needed to have a firm grasp. “It was in the middle of a tangent on ‘inflation’ and ‘trickle down’ principles,” related Sarah Nass, one of the few unfortunate students to have a front-row seat to Meyer’s display. “All I know is that hand of his was anything but invisible.” Several students also described the incident as “hard to swallow.”

Professor Meyer thought differently, though, seeing the demonstration as a way of reaching out to the students and explaining such complex topics as “elasticity” and “J curves” in a language they could all understand. “I’m making a difference in these kids’ lives,” smiled Meyer. “I’m a lot like Robin Williams in Dead Poets Society.” This comment seems in line with reports that the respected, accredited Economics expert spent the whole event standing on a table.

In an effort to disseminate information and put a little spunk back in the Stanford Economics community, video recordings of all of Professor Meyer’s lectures are available at his website: macroeconomistsxxx.edu.

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