Post Tagged with: "masturbation"

Water Conservation Initiative to Curb Jeff’s Shower Masturbation

May 11, 2015 12:00 pmComments Off on Water Conservation Initiative to Curb Jeff’s Shower Masturbation
Water Conservation Initiative to Curb Jeff’s Shower Masturbation
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Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break

November 21, 2014 10:00 amComments Off on Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break
Op-Ed: I can’t wait to masturbate in my own bed over Thanksgiving Break

I just booked my ticket home and I am so excited. I can’t wait to spend some quality time with my family over Thanksgiving, then retreat to my old room and pleasure myself while lying in the same bed I laid in during my high-school years. I miss my two […]

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Opinion: My roommate sure loves his music!

November 19, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Opinion: My roommate sure loves his music!
Opinion: My roommate sure loves his music!

My roommate loves his music. Every night like clockwork, it’s on with the headphones, open the laptop, and off he goes into his own little world, curled up on his bed in the corner of our room. He seems to be having fun, but it’s too bad that he’s sick […]

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Professor Masturbating in Class “Disconcerting”

October 17, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Professor Masturbating in Class “Disconcerting”
Professor Masturbating in Class “Disconcerting”

Stanford faculty members are acclaimed not only for their expertise, but also their ability to engage students in a given subject matter. Tiresome subjects can come alive in the hands of the right instructor. Of course, there are some things you just don’t want your instructor to have in his […]

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Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule

October 1, 2012 12:00 pmComments Off on Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule
Freshman Roommates Unable to Reach Agreement on Masturbation Schedule

Shouts and shrieks echoed through the halls Monday night in Serra, shattering the otherwise peaceful tranquility of the East Campus residence. At first residents feared some sort of criminal intrustion, but the origin of the noise was revealed to be Frank Zucker and Thomas Willie, two roommates who were thought […]

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Facebook Adds Ability To Share Masturbatory Habits With Friends

November 7, 2010 3:11 pmComments Off on Facebook Adds Ability To Share Masturbatory Habits With Friends
Facebook Adds Ability To Share Masturbatory Habits With Friends

Note: In the print edition of this week’s issue, we accidentally used a picture of Tyler Clementi, the Rutgers student who committed suicide. We did a random image search for a student, and we were unaware of who this person was. We regret the use of the photo. Facebook, always […]

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