Post Tagged with: "sleep"

Student Gets Long, Restorative Night of Sleep

January 25, 2016 12:00 pmComments Off on Student Gets Long, Restorative Night of Sleep
Student Gets Long, Restorative Night of Sleep

Smiling and basking in the golden sunlight which has become the norm in the last few weeks, Junior Derek Newman told reporters that on Sunday night he relished in a 11 hour night of deep, wonderful sleep. “I wasn’t that tired before,” said Newman, a likable and modestly attractive computer […]

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Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner

February 23, 2012 6:00 amComments Off on Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner
Study Finds Students Get “Good Night’s Sleep” After Special Dinner

A study released earlier this week by members of the Kappa Alpha Fraternity suggests Special Dinner actually improves both quantity and quality of sleep for participating students, a landmark discovery that may revolutionize perspectives on this debaucherous Stanford tradition. “I’ve always looked at Special Dinner as a liability, given how […]

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Average American Eats Five Hamsters While Sleeping

April 28, 2011 9:00 amComments Off on Average American Eats Five Hamsters While Sleeping
Average American Eats Five Hamsters While Sleeping

Surgeon General Regina M. Bengamin announced today that the average American eats 5 hamsters over the course of his or her lifetime. “About 64% percent of Americans sleep with their mouths open, which leaves a very large hole for hamsters to fall into. Most of us just swallow these small […]

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What Did We Do Over Break?

January 11, 2010 6:30 pm0 comments
What Did We Do Over Break?
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Student Pulls All-Dayer

May 11, 2009 10:31 pm0 comments
Student Pulls All-Dayer
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Student Wakes Up On Tuesday, Thinks It’s Wednesday

February 16, 2009 5:18 pm0 comments
Student Wakes Up On Tuesday, Thinks It’s Wednesday
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Report: Student Is Tired

November 30, 2008 4:10 pm0 comments
Report: Student Is Tired

By Daniel Francinte STANFORD, CA–After five consecutive sleep-deprived nights and countless hours of research, the Medical School came to conclusive results and found that junior undergraduate student Alex Fontaine was tired.     They had four researchers watching him around the clock as he ate, did his homework, dozed off in […]

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