Op-Ed: My Coronavirus Dreams Are Just Me Going Through My Normal Day But As A Worm

It seems that this virus has really wormed its way into everyones’…

Report: Vivid Incest Dreams Totally Normal, Everybody Else is Having Them Too

Op-Ed: The One Upside of Zoom University? Not Getting Punched Every Time I Tell Dr. Martin He Doesn’t Deserve Tenure

Sure, it’s a little scary to see Dr. Martin on Zoom with…

Op-Ed: My Internship at NASA Was Cancelled So I’m Going to Poach Elephant Ivory in The Orient, Instead

I got a job at NASA for the summer. You wouldn’t have…

Op-Ed: My Super Exclusive Internship with NASA Was Just Cancelled So I Guess I’m Stuck Slumming It in My Huge London Flat

So there I was, just sitting in my trophy room in my…

Op-Ed: I Was Going to Work at NASA and Now I Am Not, But I Was Going To and I Am Smart

I’m just writing this so all of you know that, even though…

Op-Ed: I Had the NASA Internship Where They Make Me the Astronaut, But Then It Got Canceled Because of Coronavirus

Okay, I’m pissed. One month ago, I had this summer all figured…

Op-Ed: I woke up too early and I accidentally saw the Easter Bunny busting eggs out of its cloaca