Articles by: Ben Kaufman

Freshman Accidentally Hooks Up with John Arillaga at Full Moon On the Quad

October 29, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Freshman Accidentally Hooks Up with John Arillaga at Full Moon On the Quad
Freshman Accidentally Hooks Up with John Arillaga at Full Moon On the Quad

Billy Rosenstein knew Full Moon the Quad would be an interesting night. But when he heard that he’d locked lips with one of the University’s best known benefactors, he could barely hold back his surprise. Indeed, Billy had claimed a space on his bingo board that few others could: he […]

Read more ›

Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

October 28, 2013 12:03 pmComments Off on Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks
Study Confirms That Bitches, As Suspected, Ain’t Shit But Hoes and Tricks

When Dr. Dre proposed in his seminal theoretical work, “The Chronic”, the idea that bitches ain’t shit but hoes and tricks drew criticism from a number of his contemporaries. Of course, this wasn’t necessarily a new idea; scholars generally agree that Shakespeare used the sentence “Wenches art naut beside harlots […]

Read more ›

Fraternity Plans Ahead, Holds Vomit Themed Party

October 21, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Fraternity Plans Ahead, Holds Vomit Themed Party
Fraternity Plans Ahead, Holds Vomit Themed Party

It looks to be a night of booze, beats, and barf this coming Friday at Beta Gamma Omega’s first annual “Regurgitation Rager,” a party aimed at truly capturing the spirit of a weekend at the Farm early in the Fall quarter. “I mean, it really just gets right to the […]

Read more ›

Family Dinners Become Problematic For Conservative Congressman Who Refuses to Pass Anything

October 14, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Family Dinners Become Problematic For Conservative Congressman Who Refuses to Pass Anything
Family Dinners Become Problematic For Conservative Congressman Who Refuses to Pass Anything

When Billy asked his dad, Richard Whiteman, the House representative for Alabama’s famously conservative 6th district and a Tea Party sweetheart, to pass the beans on a recent Tuesday night, it quickly became clear that his father had once again failed to leave his work at the office. Rich, as […]

Read more ›

Stanford to Phase in “Ways of Drinking, Ways of Screwing” Requirements for Class of 2017

October 13, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on Stanford to Phase in “Ways of Drinking, Ways of Screwing” Requirements for Class of 2017
Stanford to Phase in “Ways of Drinking, Ways of Screwing” Requirements for Class of 2017

By day, the Class of 2017 will voyage across Stanford’s new breadth requirement, WAYS, which emphasizes the development of capacity in a broader range of intellectual areas. But by night, as approved by the Faculty Senate last Wednesday, they will also be required to, as chairman David Palumbo-Liu put it, […]

Read more ›

A Freshman’s Guide to the History of Stanford

October 12, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on A Freshman’s Guide to the History of Stanford
A Freshman’s Guide to the History of Stanford

Stanford was founded in 1973 by Stan Ford who, after arriving home still somewhat high from a Grateful Dead concert in San Francisco, returned to his farm in Palo Alto to realize that his life’s calling was to found the world’s largest Ultimate Frisbee collective. Teaming up with his neighbors […]

Read more ›

East/West Campus Divide Deepens as John Hennessy is Shot in Drive By

October 10, 2013 9:00 amComments Off on East/West Campus Divide Deepens as John Hennessy is Shot in Drive By
East/West Campus Divide Deepens as John Hennessy is Shot in Drive By

In an event bound to enflame the already tense feud between Stanford’s rival East and West Campus gangs, University president John Hennessy, known informally as MC Hennasty, was killed in a drive-by shooting near the Main Quad at 2:53 AM Tuesday morning. Witnesses claim Hennessy was “straight thuggin’” at the […]

Read more ›

Christian Fellowship and Arillaga Fitness to Team Up for Pontius Pilates

September 30, 2013 12:00 pmComments Off on Christian Fellowship and Arillaga Fitness to Team Up for Pontius Pilates
Christian Fellowship and Arillaga Fitness to Team Up for Pontius Pilates

You may hear shouts of “Jesus Christ!” coming from the gym at the Arillaga Center for Sports and Recreation in the next few weeks as you pass it on the way to buy a scone at Starbucks. But, this time, they won’t be cries of exertion. Instead, they’ll be the […]

Read more ›