Alex Durham

36 posts

Clarification: We Didn’t Really Mean Arson In Our Threat Against Daily

Well, okay, maybe we did, but that wasn’t the Only action we were going…

Op-Ed: In Only Ten Weeks, Duolingo Made Me Proficient In Slurs

I was initially skeptical about practicing my language skills with Duolingo. People…

Theresa May Only One Surprised by EU Release of Kraken into English Channel

In a totally foreseeable move this past Tuesday, the European Union (EU)…

Report: Snorting Essential Oils Proven More Effective than Vaccinations, Or Maybe They Just Smell Nicer

With recent news of a measles exposure in Hoover Tower, news of…

Some of You Kids With Your Cellular Devices Didn’t Have to Send Nudes With an Etch-A-Sketch and It Shows

Walking around Stanford’s campus, I feel a slight disassociation with the other…

Op-Ed: I Time Traveled to the Year 3000 and the Jonas Brothers Were So Wrong About Everything

These goddamn Jonas Brothers. There I was, putting the finishing touches on…

Bernie Sheds His Exoskeleton Again, Emerging 30 Years Younger and Ready to Rumble

In a video announcing his presidential campaign, Bernie Sanders (D-VT) is seen…

Queso Crisis: Exhausted Cheese Grating Waiter Still Waiting for a “When”

It all began with senior Zoe Baldoro, a delicious bowl of gnocchi…

Informal Policy Among Students to Execute Anyone Who Scores Above Mean on Midterms

Following a particularly rough midterm season, and under the nose of school…