Since 1892, The Sierra Club has operated as a staunch advocate for environmental interests, sustainability, and responsible stewardship. Last week, however, members of the famous non-profit were stunned to discover that The Sierra Club had declared bankruptcy. According to a recent audit, the organization tripled its spending every year for the past five years, including in its budget such expenditures as a Volt electric car for each member of its board of directors, a multi-million dollar “Jetliner Party for Sustainability,” and “extra-glossy” calendars for each of its 1.4 million members.

In a press conference held last week Michael Brune, Executive Director of the club, explained, “Believe it or not, resources are finite. In my time as Executive Director, I managed our financial resources with the utmost care and discretion, but when it comes down to it, nothing lasts forever. Rather than see our cash reserves dwindle away over the next ten, twenty, or maybe even hundred years, I wanted to see The Sierra Club go out on top—so I drilled down into our resources, pulled out the cash, and called it a day.”

The most marked response to the recent bankruptcy declaration is coming from the right-wing, fiscal conservative movement. “We’ve been warning these environmentalists for years about their destructive practices, but they think they know better,” explained a high-level executive at Chevron, speaking on condition of anonymity. “We told them, ‘look, these practices of yours may seem good now, but at this rate, you’ll run out of money within your lifetime.’ But they ignored us—they drilled into their resources with no regard for us, for their members, and worst of all, for their long-term interests. Maybe next time they’ll heed our warnings. Maybe next time, we’ll get them to pay attention. Before it’s too late.”

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