Seeking to fulfill their campaign pledge of “creating tangible results that all Stanford students can appreciate”, ASSU executive members sent out a mass email containing pictures of the Thanksgiving hand turkeys that they have been working on since the beginning of the school year.

“We think it’s a heartening rebuttal to all of the naysayers who claim that the ASSU is ineffective and wields little actual power,” said Stewart Mcgregor-Dennis.
“People can see the turkeys for themselves, and take pride in what their student government is capable of.

“If you are wondering what the ASSU is doing for you, just come by our office and watch us make the turkeys” added President Michael Cruz. “Stanford 2.0 is committed to providing you with a transformative student government experience. If you think that our tracing could have been neater, say so.
If you think the turkey’s beak is crooked, say so. We’ll listen.”

“We want to foster an entrepreneurial spirit around campus,” said co-chair of entrepreneurship Jonathan Manzi. “If you have something really special you want to make—sock puppets, for example–E2.
0 can provide you with mentors and help you network with potential collaborators.”

Aiming for further transparency, the group posted its agenda online which also includes making popsicle stick Christmas trees.

You May Also Like

Cardinal Confessions Surges in Popularity in Vatican

As reforms rock the foundations of the Catholic Church, a new online…

Scientist Discovers Disease, Names After Arch-Rival

The humble Dr. Timothy Flugin of the Center for Disease Control may…

Opinion: Why Do Women Get So Upset When Told They Have a Nice Rack?

As one who regularly likes to pay women compliments on their racks,…