In the days following Egyptian President Hosni Mubarak’s decision not to run for re-election, FOX has announced a new show for its Fall 2011 lineup. Last Tyrant Standing will feature the world’s greatest dictators battling it out to determine which is the most ruthless of all. FOX spokesperson Janette Wilkins explained the show’s format.

“Each week of the show will represent a decade in power. Whichever contestant stays in power the longest will be the winner. Weekly events will include ‘Kill the Rebels,’ ‘Tear Gas the Rioters,’ and, my personal favorite, ‘Extinguish the Flaming Effigy.’”

Wilkins continued to explain how tyrants leave the show. “Contestants are eliminated in a weekly election in which all candidates are given 60 seconds to stuff a ballot box with as many votes as possible. Whichever candidate stuffs the fewest ballots will be exiled and, in some cases, killed. Each week, viewers will also vote for their favorite tyrant. However, because of the ballot box stuffing, these votes will have no real power.”

Finally, Wilkins explained how the shows’ innovative “Lifeline system” will work. “Though Last Tyrant Standing will emphasize ballot box stuffing, the tyrants who are not as skilled at subverting democracy will still be given the opportunity to win. Throughout the run of the show, three lifelines will be given at random to some of the tyrants. These lifelines, Join the War on Terror, Find Oil, and Bribe a Lobbyist, can be used to gain support from the United States. Each lifeline will prop up the dictatorship for another decade, saving the tyrant from elimination for one week.”

Though Mubarak is the first tyrant to sign on to the show, other candidates include Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe, Kim-Jong-Il of North Korea, Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, and Omar al-Bashir of Sudan. Representatives for each of the tyrants have stated that the show will receive high ratings…or else.

You May Also Like

OPINION: This is a great time to be ProFro!

In the next few days, Stanford University will be flooded with the…

Michael Arrington Announces Next Venture: TechCrunch Cereal

After leaving his Silicon Valley news blog TechCrunch earlier this month, Michael…

Op-Ed: Student’s Horizons Already So Widened After Two Weeks Abroad

EUROPE — Bonjour, uncultured swine.  I write to you from a park…

Zimbardo Completes Stanford Mailing List Experiment

Philip Zimbardo, Stanford professor emeritus of Psychology recently released the results of…