In one of the biggest snubs in Grammys history, Olivia Dean won the award for Best New Artist over Erika Kirk, a nominee fresh off her record-breaking “Grief Tour.” Kirk has reached 275,000 people through teary shout-hymns of faith and racial prejudice, making her an obvious choice for the award. At the Grammys, she made a fiery grand entrance from the stage floor, joining other nominees in the Best New Artist nominee medley, where her impassioned vocals brought the audience to their feet, amidst other boring acts from groups including KATSEYE, Alex Warren, Addison Rae, and Sombr. Republicans everywhere were devastated to miss this exclusive performance, and seats to her next tour locations are filling up fast: The Super Bowl, Coachella, and the Emmys, Oscars, and Tonys as Kirk strives to collect her EGOT.
The crowd cheered hysterically as Kirk shouted, “Let’s make heaven crowded,” and Nicki Minaj made a surprise guest appearance for an emotional duet. Erika performed with her skin painted green while sporting a gaudy crown, in an attempt to reclaim the memorable “Lady Liberty” look from last year’s Best New Artist winner, Chappell Roan. As she trapezeed through the air, however, some audience members audibly gasped in shock, “It’s her! It’s Elphaba!” While Erika Kirk has not commented on this fashion discourse, reporters on the scene confirm that the bold choice has changed them, for good.
Still, Erika’s performance broke the internet, widening the divide between tinfoil hat republicans and chronically online popstar stans, both united by their inability to “touch grass.” Under the viral video of the widow doing a front flip through a ring of fire, fans everywhere have seemingly accepted her inclusion in the music scene. One supporter (@blueeyesofdoom) posted on X, “This is her Brat Summer.” Meanwhile, less enlightened users (including @erikaflop) trashed Kirk’s performance: “put this back in the vault (0 minute version).”
It is unclear if Kirk will make an appearance at the Grammys next year, but what we do know is that the Grief Tour gave closeted bigots a safe space to come together—the likes of which have not been seen since Taylor Swift’s “Eras Tour.”
