Awwwwoooooooooo! That’s right: the moon is bright, the stars are out, and bad little wolves are prowlin’ around! They’re so mischievous, roaming around past curfew. Who knows what they’re gonna do next, they’re so crazy, ahhhhhhhh!
Officers warn all individuals to ready their 48 megapixel cameras exclusive to the iPhone 14 Pro, as they might be lucky enough to catch a glimpse of spontaneous, passionate lupine frolicking in the streets. Self-proclaimed wolf expert Huck Giffins shared the following unsolicited quote, “Yeehee! I’s been waitin’ for a night like tonight for halfs a few years by now. My jimmies are shakin’ just waitin’ to catch one of dem wolves sneakin’ around like a lil’ horn dog. Aw nah, I ain’t tryna get involved or nothin’, I just like watchin’ em.”
For the majority of students, there’ll be nothing to worry about this week, because these wolves are here for a good time, not a long time! You might expect to see a few more hungry lil’ canines storming down Campus Drive or through Main Quad, but just leave ‘em be – they’re only here to prowl, scour, lurk, and slink back into the shadows with the other lil’ wolfies. Do keep in mind if you see one, there is a direct correlation between seeing one and pissing your bed. Otherwise, a simple tail-pull or belly rub should sate them enough to send you on your way.
