STANFORD, CA – After five years of alarmingly low levels of rain water that left California in a state of emergency, the drought was said to be no match for Stanford’s Admit Weekend. Witnesses mentioned that the bare bone reservoirs of Shasta, Oroville and Folsom were immediately filled back up by the pressing needs of prestigious school imagery, retention rates, and “just plain fun,” as described by an undergraduate in his third year.
Students gathered around The Claw in White Plaza and told reporters on the scene that it was, in fact, turned on now. “There’s water gushing all through this thing,” one admit noted after feeling out the situation at hand. “It’s a good thing that California’s horrible drought is finally over.”
Some students, confused by the suddenness of The Claw’s re-opening, began to drop their backpacks, remove their sweatshirts and caps, and splash around under the metal talons. Many had been restricting their shower times in response to the relentless drought across California and were eager to see an apparently endless stream of water in the middle of campus. A peer health educator nearby passed out hotel-sized bottles of shampoo and conditioner that she claimed she “knew she would put to good use someday” and again expressed relief at the excellent timing of the droughts end right before admit weekend.
