Shia LaBeouf, known for his role in the Transformers series, announced that he is writing an original screenplay which he described as “an epic romantic drama.”
This announcement has drawn scrutiny as it comes in the wake of a plagiarism scandal that rocked the young director’s public image. But LaBeouf insists those days are behind him, blaming his act of forgery on his rampant drug abuse. “I am deeply sorry for what I did, and I can only say that it was the potent mixture of cocaine and tranquilizers that copied that novella, not me.
And while we are confessing to things, I’m sorry I hit that woman’s car last month, I was in a hurry because I was fleeing the bank I just robbed. There, it feels good to get that off my chest. Now we can all move on and leave these things in the past.”
When, astoundingly, this explanation was not accepted, the actor-turned-director was able to allay accusations with a heartfelt apology via skywriter. With that finally put to rest, Mr. LaBeouf, held a press conference this week outlining the details of his new original potential feature.
“Picture this: a fictionalized historical drama, set in the early 20th century aboard a huge ship, like the biggest one ever, traveling through the arctic,” explains Labeouf excitedly. “A man and young woman traveling on the ship fall into a passionate love affair across class lines.
But you see, uh, Violet is forcefully engaged to another man, and right before she is about to leap from the ships deck to end her own life, our handsome male lead Jake saves her! Their love is unmatched until disaster strikes in the form of an iceberg that sinks the ship over three excruciatingly long hours, and Jake sacrifices himself for some driftwood to prove his love!” This will be LaBeouf’s first time writing a completely original feature film.
“I’m really excited about the potential for my script, no one has ever done anything quite like it!” When asked what he plans to title the work, LaBeouf replied “There are a lot of names being thrown around right now, but I’m thinking something to do without the ships size, how about: Gigantic.”
“This is a LaBeouf original,” added LaBeouf. “But in case I step on any toes, I’ve chartered two dozen skywriters to apologize to every registered director alive today. I’ve got this covered.”
Gigantic is set to begin preproduction early this summer.
