BOHEMIAN GROVE, CA — Noticing one another from across the foyer of their host’s ornate mansion, Senators Ralph Krandell (D-NY) and Gemma Rowe (R-MT) realized with embarrassment earlier this evening that they’d worn the exact same goat mask to the night’s ritualistic orgy.
“One of us is going to have to change,” Krandell said half-jokingly to Rowe after approaching her through a sea of tangled limbs and mashing genitals. Each of their faces hidden behind the satanic facade of a glassy-eyed faun, and wearing nothing other than the masks, the two laughed awkwardly before Rowe replied, “I guess great minds think alike.”
Krandell admitted he had not noticed the egregious blunder amidst his erotic imbroglio with he who controls the banks of Western Europe. It was only upon the ceremonial Howl of the Wolves that he glimpsed her mask and realized the terrible mistake that had occurred.
The two elected representatives then stood together in visible discomfort, unsure of who’d committed a worse faux pas, while nearby a domino-masked oil tycoon fellated the strap-on of a Prussian heiress dressed like a Venetian plague doctor. After several more minutes of quietly listening to the wet slapping of the bacchanalia around them, Krandell phoned his personal assistant to fetch a back-up mask from the car, and upon donning the replacement — a tasteful owl’s head — he and Rowe proceeded to fuck the everloving shit out of one another.
Rowe has since confirmed that she will still be voting against Krandell’s forthcoming tax bill.
